Heads up, you may want to turn the volume down. Tell your children and pets leave the room: This video contains some choice language used rather indiscriminately.
Are they gone? Good. Now bear witness to SHOCKING footage of an unknown sea creature. Some experts believe it is a baby whale (although Jay says it’s a big sea turtle). Watch this discovery unfold and pause every minute to review the discussion topics below.
0:00 – 1:00
1. After spotting an injured sea creature you should immediately notify your local aquarium. If the aquarium is not available, which other authorities should be alerted?
1:01 – 2:00
Hooking a dead sea creature is the first step in recovering it. Whether or not it bites is de-bait-able. What is the best method to hook/help a presumably dead presumed baby whale?
2:01 – 3:00
If you answered “Coast Guard” for question #1, you are correct. “Old Navy” is also an acceptable answer.
How much “big money” would you pay for a [fuckin’] fish that big? (Including taxidermist fees.)
Would rescuing “that thing” be newsworthy, or do news stations have bigger fish to fry?
3:01 – 4:00
Could be a tunar, could be a floundah. We’re only four minutes into this investigation – Could it be too soon to dismiss the bebe wheel hypothesis?
What IS that thing dude?
Now it’s edible? Since when was that option on the table?
“This fucking thing” later determined to be a mola mola/ocean sunfish. Fox 25 Fucking News plans to give Captain Michael Bergin a marine life television documentary series, akin to The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau.