269 Best Fish Puns and Jokes: Hook, Line, & Conversation!

Fish Puns is a funny combination of absurd humor and fish that’s bound to scale up your mood and krill your boredom instantly. Equal parts silly, slippery, and surprisingly clever, this pun-packed underwater adventure will have you laughing fin-stinctively — no bait required.

Whether you’re searching for the perfect one-liner for a birthday card, a splashy caption for your beach photos, or just want to giggle your gills off during lunch break, this is your ultimate catch. These puns are so off the scale, they’ll make you question how so-fish-ticated wordplay can be.

We’re diving deep into the pun-iverse with jokes about sharks, seahorses, tuna, blobfish, octopuses, and more — each hand-picked to deliver a whale of a good time. Think of it as a comedy reef: colorful, unexpected, and teeming with fishy fun.

So sea-riously, whether you’re a seasoned pun-lover or just testing the waters, cast your eyes below. The laughs? Guaranteed. The fish? Pun-believably funny.

Fish Puns. Herring we go!

“Any fin is possible.”
“Are you for reel?”
“Cod I borrow a pen?”
“Cod you be any more piscatorial?”
“Don’t be koi with me.”
“Don’t be so shellfish.”
“Don’t flounder around the issue.”
“Don’t leave me flapping in the breeze.”
“Don’t trout yourself.”
“Eeling over the moon.”
“Feeling a little eel today.”
“Gillty as charged.”
“Holy mackerel, that’s funny!”
“I feel gill-ty about this.”
“I seaweed what you did there.”
“I whaley love you.”
“I’m a little shell-shocked.”
“I’m dolphin-ately in love with these puns.”
“I’m dolphinately serious.”
“I’m feeling a bit koi today.”
Let minnow if you need anything at all.
Let minnow if you want to join!
Let minnow what you think
Let’s all grouper together and figure this trout.
Let’s all welcome the new squid on the block.
Let’s go fishing, just for the halibut.
Let’s not swim around it, I’m totally into you.
Let’s sail away together.

Tuna Puns

“Tuna around, bright eyes.”
I’m having a fan-tuna-stic day!
Just like the tuna fish sandwich said, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in cans-us anymore.
Let’s tuna-round this situation.
Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty!
Tuna in next time
Tuna Turner
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
You’re the tuna my heart plays.
What do you call a tuna with no tail? Rudderly useless.
Why did the fisherman stop playing the violin? Because it was out of tuna.
Have you been herring what they’re saying about the new fish investment account? It sounds like a great oppor-tuna-ty!
What did the musical fish say to woo his date? “I’ll play you a tuna or two on the bass.”
How many tuna does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just call an electric eel. (yeap, this one is occasionally here)
What did the tuna say after the job interview? Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty.
How do you know when something is fishy in the state of Denmark? When Hamlet’s giving a speech that begins, “Tuna or not tuna, that is the question.”

Clever Fish Puns

“This is neither the time nor the plaice for that.”
DJ’s can’t work at fish markets—they keep dropping the bass!
A fish dish a day keeps the doctor at bay.
An octopus is always ready for war because they’re well-armed
Can I be reel with you for a second? I think you’re being shellfish.
Fish don’t do well on school tests because they always swim below C level.
Fish don’t play basketball because they’re afraid of the net.
I was reading a marine life book—I’m hooked! It’s fish-tinating.
The fish wanted to be a comedian, but it was afraid of tanking on stage.
What do you say to an upset orca? Everything whale be alright
What did the dolphin say on the first date? We just click
When is it time for a fish to go to an eye doctor? When it’s having trouble sea-ing.
How do fish like their burgers? Whale done
How do fish make decisions? They flip a coin
How do fish with difficulty hearing communicate? Piscine language

Salmon Puns

“Salmon had to say it.”
Create your own fish dish, don’t leave it to salmon else.
Salmon call a doctor
Salmon Ella
Salmon had to say it
Salmon Lohan
Salmon, call a doctor!
What did the freshwater eel say to the salmon? I don’t sea your point.
What does the salmon always say at closing time? “Time to lox up.”
What did the chef say when a salmon asked it for a light? “I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.”

Cute Fish Puns

“Water you thinking?”
“We whaley need to hang out more.”
“You octopi my thoughts.”
“You’re a catch!”
“You’re fin-tastic!”
“You’re a fintastic friend.”
“You’re a reel catch.”
Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.
Are you just fishing for compliments?
Best fishes on your birthday!
How did that go? Can you let minnow?
Have a crabulous day
We’ve got a whale of a connection.
Living a sprat’s life – small fish, big pond, huge dreams!
Never fall in love with a blowfish. You’ll always get re-puffed.
Our love is as un-shellfish as it gets.
Our love is gill-iant.
Shell we dance?

Orca Puns

What do you call a pod of musical whales? An orca-stra
Where does a killer whale go to get braces? An orca-dontist
What do you say to an upset orca? Everything whale be alright
“Orca-stra in the sea? I only play whale-o.”
You orca be kidding me!
I’ve got an orca-nic sense of humor.
Orcaccino, no foam, triple kelp shot. – orca’ order at Starbucks
Orca-pella is just screaming underwater.
Orca-straight to jail.

Short Fish Puns

“I’m hooked!”
“Sea-riously.”
Cod Pitt
Crappie Diem
Fin-tastic
Gill-ty
Holy carp!
Holy crab!
I trout it…
Ink about it
Jaws Jr.
Let minnow
Mussel up
Marlin Monroe
Reel Deal
That’s gilliant
Cod Father
Carpe diem!
Bass Gaga
Any-fin is possible.
“That’s a moray.”

Goldfish Puns and Jokes

What is the most expensive fish in the world? A goldfish
“She ghosted me after three spins around the bowl.”
“I’m not short-term memory… I’m long-term mystery.”
“Stop asking if I remember you. I’m trying to forget.”
“I believe in past lives. I’ve circled this castle before.”
“Some call it a bowl. I call it a 360-degree lifestyle.”
“He who swims in circles never gets stuck in traffic.”

Unique Fish Puns

“I’m gill-ty of loving these puns.”
Do whales play with slime? No, they prefer blubber
Dolphinately!
Don’t be koi with me.
Don’t be late, make it snappy!
Don’t be shellfish
Don’t be shellfish, share your fish dish!
Don’t be so shellfish.
Don’t give me that crabitude
Don’t go fishing for compliments
Don’t leave me flapping on the deck!
Don’t play koi with me.
Don’t trout yourself
Drop the bass
Feel my wrasse!
Feeling a bit crabby today.
Feeling fintastic!
Fin-credible Holiday Wishes
How do you make an octopus laugh?
How do you make money in the ocean? You scale up
How does a dolphin react when they’re mad? They flip out
How much money does a fish have? A gillion dollars
I don’t want to mullet over, but something fishy’s going on.
I feel like a fish out of water.
I feel that in my sole
I find you dolphinetly amazing.
I fish you were here.
I got into an argument with a fish, but it just kept carping on and on.
I have a really good eeling about this!
I have a whale of a tale.
I have more friends than anemones.
I just got my report card. I passed with seven seas.
I knew you loved fish, but I didn’t realize how much until I saw your mullet.
I swear I didn’t do that on porpoise.
I tried to catch some fish, but they kept giving me the cold shoulder.
Never try to talk to a fish before it is caf-fin-ated.
No trout about it, I’m having fun!
Not a bad plaice to be!
Not a big dill, just a little gill.
Not just a big fish in a small pond.
Not too crabby
Octo-puss in boots
Oh my cod, that’s funny!
Oh my cod, what a view!
Oh my cod!
Oh, for heavens hake!
On squid row

Shellfish puns

“You’re so shellfish.”
I’m not shellfish, I just love seafood too much!
I’m too shellfish to share my fried clams.
It’s time to shell-abrate
Jingle Shells
Stop being so shellfish!
How do shellfish take photos? With a clam-era.
What did the introverted snail wish for more than anything? To one day come out of his shell.
“Don’t be so shellfish.”
“I’m a little shell-shocked.”
Can I be reel with you for a second? I think you’re being shellfish.
Our love is as un-shellfish as it gets.
Shell we dance?
Don’t be shellfish
Don’t be shellfish, share your fish dish!

Starfish Puns

The fish that stands out the most at night is a starfish.
What do you call an aquatic celebrity? A starfish
What kind of fish only comes out at night? A starfish
You’re the starfish of the birthday party.
What’s an astronomer’s favorite fish? A starfish.

Fish Jokes

Why didn’t the fish get the job? He floundered in the interview.
What did the genie say when the shark rubbed his lamp? I’ll give you three fishes.
What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Oh, dam!
What do you call a fish who swims in a school for eight years? A sturgeon.
What do fish say on Halloween? “Trick or trout!”
What did the sea lion say to the flying fish? You sure are making a splash around here.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
What did the fish say after her first day of kindergarten? That school is off the hook!
How does a fish know when the party’s over? Well, it’s obvious when it’s fin-ished.
For fish astronauts, what’s the final frontier? Trouter space.
Which fish has the worst haircut? The mullet.
What’s an astronomer’s favorite fish? A starfish.
How do you get an octopus to giggle? Ten-tickles.
Where do fish sleep? In the riverbed.
What did the captain of the pirate ship say when he found a stowaway fish? I’ll make you walk the plankton for that.
What do you call a big, ugly eel with a slick, slimy feel? That’s a moray!
What did the mommy fish say to the little fish when he was feeling down? You can do any-fin you put your mind to. Just don’t trout yourself.
Who is a fish’s favorite artist? Jackson Pollock.
Why did the jellyfish go to a protest? As a paci-fish, she opposed Portuguese man-of-war.
What did the fish mom say when her fry started swimming in circles before bed? Cut it out! I’m not squidding with you guys!
Which fish is the spokesperson on public matters of fish health? The sturgeon general.
What happened to the fish who met a scammer? He fell for the con hook, line and sinker.
What did the fish say when her husband gave her a sexy wink? Not tonight dear. I have a haddock.
What did the fish judge say to the defendant? We fin you, the triggerfish, gill-ty on the sole count of fish slaughter.
What did the fish say to the fisherman? Hold up. What’s your angle?
How do you say “seize the day” in fish language? “Carp-e diem.”
What did the herring say when asked if he knew of a good seafood restaurant? “I sardinely do!”
Why was the shark excited to join Tinder? He heard there were a lot of catfishes on there.
What did one fish say to another when asking her out? “I’d love to net together sometime. Just let minnow when you’re free.”
What did the fish say after hearing her date’s musical number? “I’m hooked!”
How did the sweet fish date end? The fish looked his date in the eyes and said, “Gee, you’re a reel catch!”
Why were the fish so scared of the crustacean? He was a notorious lobster.
What did the sunfish say when asked about her health? “I’m feeling a little crappie.”
What did the whale say when he ran out of food? “I’m kelpless and starving!”
Who is a fish’s favorite pop singer? Meghan Trainor because she’s “All About That Bass.”
What did the fish say when the fisherman asked her for directions? “Walleye reely wish I could kelp…”
Why did the fish say they stole a stingray and went cruising down the pike? We did it for the halibut.
Where do teen fish go to hang out? At the skate park.
What did the boss fish say to his workers? We really need to maximize our e-fish-ency.
Can carp o-fish-iate at a wedding? Yes, as long as they have a certificate from the ‘net.
Why did the two fish have to “take it outside”? They were about to have a roe.
What’s the best way for a fish to get to Canada? Follow the northern pike.
When you need a handyman, which fish do you call? The mantis shrimp because he has his own hammer, and he’s always happy to use it.
Where can you find the down-and-out calamari? On squid row.
What’s the one fish that 40% of Americans are afraid of? Clown fish.
Why did one fish slap the other? To snapper out of it.
Why do most people dislike anchovies? Because they’re a little fishy.
What did the mollusk do with the concert tickets he couldn’t use? He scalloped them.
Where do you put an argumentative fighting fish? De-beta-bowl.
What country can every fish trace their roots back to? Finland.
What’s the clown fish’s biggest fear? That he’s not really all that finny.
Why isn’t the bachelor fish married? Because he has fin-timacy issues.
What does the walleye say to let you know he didn’t appreciate your last remark? “Walleye have never been so insulted in my life.”
What does the bass say when the tilefish seems confused? “You’ve got that completely bass ackward.”
How do you know when a blowfish has been working out? It’ll look extremely puff.
Why is the cost of living so affordable for bay scallops? They’re small, so they’re fine with living in an e-fish-ency.
When do fish stage an intervention for a friend? When they’ve hit rockfish bottom.
Who is the most famous fish spy? James Pond.
What did the waiter say when the man complained his fish tasted funny? “But sir, you ordered the clown fish.”
What did the fish say to his wife when she asked him how she looked? “Stop fishing for compliments.”
How can you tell that a puffer has had too much salt at dinner? It looks blow-ted.
What happens when a fish spends too much time on his computer? He gets carp-al tunnel syndrome.
What did one fish lawyer say to the other? My client’s going to need a minute to mullet over.
Where do shrimp go for cash in a pinch? To the prawn shop.
What did the dentist say to the super-anxious shark? Jaws relax.
How do you know you’ve received a sales call from a fish? When she starts with, “Cod I have a moment of your time?”
Why do fish try to stay on the good side of king crabs? If they didn’t, they’d be royally scrod.
Why aren’t there any job openings at the fish company? They’re scaling back.
How much money does Gill Gates have? A gillion dollars.
How do you identify a great white shark from Scotland? Look for the kill-t.
What did the baby fish want to be when he grew up? A bass-tro physicist.
Why don’t fish talk? Because everything’s a big sea-cret.
How do fish with difficulty hearing communicate? Piscine language.
What is a fish’s favorite fast-food restaurant? Fin-N-Out Burger.
Why are fish the smartest animals? They all go to school.
What did the fish food critic say to the chef? “This cod be better.”
What do you say when you get to the end of this list? What, no more fish jokes? I’m gutted!